Like many other things, Hawai’i Five-0 is an undertaking best enjoyed under the influence of intoxicating spirits. And what better way to enjoy the weekly revels of McDanno & Co than to have a good old-fashioned TV Drinking Game?
See below for our guidelines. Okole maluna!
Drink Once If:
Any character drinks.
McDanno exchange affectionate glances
Kono or Chin reveal an obvious plot point (“The gunshot wound is in the middle of the forehead. That means they must have been murdered!”)
Danny whines about Hawai’i and/or pineapples.
Any scene features a vehicle serenely cruising through the greater Honolulu metro area without encountering any traffic whatsoever.
There are geographical or timing errors in the plot. (Even without traffic, you can’t get from Kaneohe to Waikiki in ten minutes)
The show labels a location that is obviously incorrect (e.g. a beachfront home in Kaimuki).
Kamekona grosses everybody out.
Kono gets called a rookie.
Drink Twice If:
Somebody completely butchers a Hawaiian or Pidgin word or expression.
There’s unnecessary McDanno touching.
McDanno uses a term of endearment.
“Book ’em Danno!”
Kono is seen in a bikini.
McG is seen shirtless.
There is a cargument.
Danny pouts with jealousy when Steve is friends with other men.
Steve acts jealous of/hurt by Danny with other women.
Max geeks out.
Steve wears a gun in a thigh holster.
The camera unnecessarily focuses on Danny’s ass.
Drink Three Times If:
Anybody assumes or insinuates McDanno are married.
The bromance becomes awkwardly gay.
Danno throws a hissy fit.
McG eats junk food.
Danny or Chin appear shirtless.
A LOST alum is seen wandering through the jungle hunting wild boar.
An actor who appeared on the original series shows up.
A guest star gets “Rick Springfielded” (i.e. their entire appearance in the episode fits between between commercial breaks)
Charlie Fong flirts with Kono.
Chin rocks the shotgun.
McDanno makes heart eyes for each other.
Chug Your Drink If:
Anybody gets, has just gotten, or is about to get laid.
WoFat shows up.
Anybody’s original accent makes an appearance.
Undergarments are visible.
McDanno makes out.
Product Placement Rider:
Not counting the Hawaiian Airlines plane in the opening sequence, the first time a real-life product is mentioned in the episode, drink once. The second time it’s mentioned the same episode, drink twice. The third time, drink three times, and so on. If anybody waxes poetic about Subway the way Kamekona does, finish two drinks and complain bitterly.